My hand turned me down
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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