I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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