You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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