Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
