Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
