You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
