I'm drive I can fine osifer
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
