Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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