I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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