Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
