I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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