It's just like the Real World with babies
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
