oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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