it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
