There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
