bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
