Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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