It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
