Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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