yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
