i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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