Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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