I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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