One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
