i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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