you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize