dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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