apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
