dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I love you. Go after that dick
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
