Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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