I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
