Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
