I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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