she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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