If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
