I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
