Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
