I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
