I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
