i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
