I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
