Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
