while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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