The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
