dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
