The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
