I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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