Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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