Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
