just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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