Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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