it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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