dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
