I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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