Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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