I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
