I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
