fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize