Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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