I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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