Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
