The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
