omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
